The one

I want to talk to him , just like I talk to everyone else.
He's always out of reach while every other guy wants me to talk to them. He has this string attached to me where he can still keep me while having me far away .
Lately we have been so far apart that it's driving me crazy. I miss when he used to pay attention to me, call me , write on my facebook , etc. But now a days I'm just ignored, I feel like I'm not important to him any more. I try to text him but he never answers me anymore , I never had to text him before because he would always call me at the right times , and I could call him but he stopped picking up my calls too or saying he would call me back and then never call me back. So I stopped calling .
All this would obviously be signs that Hello he doesn't love you like that anymore he's moved on right. But yet he stills says he misses me and that we will be together one day , to trust him.
What he says doesn't match up with actions right ?
I finally met him after being away for a long time and he still gave me the brightest smile , nobody ever smiles at me like that when they see me besides me parents. It feels like he loves and misses me so much when I saw him. He gently grabbed my face and kissed me so hard. I felt like I was dreaming , his love felt too real for it to be false, I've never been so conflicted by somebody .
I love him more than anybody , he's the one I want to get married to. No matter how much pain I have to go through I would still want to be with him . But if he flat out rejects me and says he doesn't love me then I can let him go be over him so I can move on. But he won't reject me , so I can't let him go because he's still holding on to me while pushing me away.
I try not to be blinded by him because I know I love him too much . But how am I supposed to feel when he only talks to me to confirm that he loves me and wants to be with me.
I want a stronger love than that , somebody who will drop anybody they are with to be with me.
I keep telling myself he doesn't love me that much , but I still want to keep holding on to him .
I can't get over him till he says he's done with me.
I feel like a prisoner of my own feelings.
My feelings for him just get stronger , I just want to be with him .
I hate being clingy but hate the thought of not being with him more .
I'm so tired of being trapped by my feelings for him . I want to be with him or get over him . This in between mess is ridiculous.